Editorials / Opinions

A stress-free life is a goal for most of us. Ideally, each day should be perfect, without any problems. The reality is much different. It seems as if there is always something to stress about.

Often, as soon as we solve one problem, another emerges. When we manage to handle one situation, a new one surfaces. Ironically, there is no shortage of information on how to manage, reduce, or even eliminate stress. Yet, it can feel like a constant struggle to avoid becoming overwhelmed.

Our minds become conditioned to look for things to stress about. It’s almost as if we feel uncomfortable if life is too smooth. When all is too quiet, we can think we must be overlooking something. Our thoughts automatically focus on a new issue to stress about. Even if there is nothing wrong, we are adept at seeking out a troubling perspective.

Sources of stress range from the mundane and inconsequential to major events. A stain on a shirt, a rude remark from a stranger, or a bad hair day might be sources of anguish. Even while being stressed, we have all thought, “why am I getting so stressed out by this?” Still, it’s difficult not to get caught.

There are those people who appear to have the capability to let just about everything role off their backs. They evoke jealousy as we wonder how they do it. Granted, only a few have this capacity. Many others hide the stress they internalize.

It doesn’t matter how others deal with stress. What’s important is how you handle your circumstances. You can’t always control what happens but you can control your reaction. This reality is the key to avoid getting caught on the stress treadmill where you continually hop from one issue to another.

How do you stop finding things to stress about? Start with recognizing how pointless stress is in the first place. You can devote as much energy as possible. It won’t accomplish a thing. Besides, stress is exhausting and doesn’t make you feel good.

When you find yourself stressing about some issue, decide which of the following categories it falls into. Either there is some action you can take or the situation is out of your hands. If there is something you can do, by all means do it. Don’t sit there and fret.

For circumstances you have no influence over, let it go. This advice may not be so easy to apply at first. With practice you will make progress over time. Be diligent and catch yourself whenever you begin to stress.

You can substantially reduce the number of things you stress over by maintaining a positive perspective. Constantly question whether the event at hand is even worth your attention at all. You will quickly find that much of your stress is caused by quickly forgotten issues blown out of proportion by your mental lens.

It’s difficult to stop stressful thinking. Much more effective is displacing these troublesome thoughts with a focus on the good in your life. You take many things for granted that deserve regular recognition of gratitude. Put your energy into identifying them rather than stressing.

You have to act proactively to break the cycle of stress. You are probably more used to this habit than you realize. Although some level of stress is a normal part of living, it is usually too elevated.

You will be amazed how much better you feel as your stress level drops. Break the pattern. Don’t look for something to stress about. You will wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

Sincerely,

Bryan Golden

NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. Email Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper. © 2026 Bryan Golden

As you progress down your chosen path you may find yourself stalled, not making the progress you had hoped for. Or perhaps you decide you are going in the wrong direction. Maybe you don’t know what course you should be on. There are many times you will be pondering what should you do next.

You don’t want to become passive and do nothing. Paralysis by analysis keeps you from taking action. Since you don’t feel confident about exactly what you should do, you may not do anything. Another response is to distract yourself with inconsequential activities. Unless you remain proactive, you will drift aimlessly.

Not knowing what to do next can be very frustrating. Doing nothing only exacerbates your stress level. Doing nothing prolongs the amount of time spent in an impasse. The longer you remain in limbo, the deeper your frustration becomes. Without corrective action, your attitude will sour, making things seem worse.

You might be in a position where you need to take a break to collect your thoughts or do some reassessment. This is much different than passively waiting for circumstances to change.

When you are stuck, here are three steps that can help get you moving: think, plan, and act. Thinking enables you to understand why you are in your current situation. This awareness is essential in order to avoid repeating any behavior that got you stuck.

What action or inaction brought you here? You must know what happened. If you don’t have any idea what transpired, you are not paying attention. Be honest in your assessment. Don’t make excuses. Your objective is to learn, not to defend yourself.

Where do you want to go next? What is your goal? Has your goal changed? Obviously, if you don’t know where you want to go, it’s impossible to know what you should do. Not having a destination is typically the underlying reason for doing nothing.

When your goal changes or you lose interest in your current goal, you will find yourself wondering what to do next. Again, you need a direction before proceeding. Projecting into the future may be overwhelming. If this is the case, pick a short-term goal. It’s less vexing and it will be just as effective in getting you moving.

Once you figure out what happened to get you where you are and you recognize where you want to go next, you are ready to put together a plan. Your plan will be step by step directions to get you to your destination. Make your steps as small as possible so they are easily accomplished. A plan doesn’t even have to have all the steps, only the first ones.

What should you do next? Act on the first step from your plan. It’s that simple. Action is the key to moving forward. Until you act, nothing happens.

When you wonder what you should do next, remember you are the one who has to come up with the answer. Use caution when asking others for guidance. Everyone has an opinion and will offer it when asked. Unless someone is where you want to be, their advice may not be helpful.

Not knowing what to do next is a normal experience. Even the most driven, focused, and motivated individuals have to deal with this. There is no need for alarm. It’s simply an opportunity to look at your map or ask directions and then get back to your journey.

Sincerely,

Bryan Golden

NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. Email Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper. © 2026 Bryan Golden