Editorials / Opinions

Everyone encounters adverse circumstances. Some people survive and thrive while others suffer and allow their spirit to be extinguished. It's not the circumstances that vary, it is the manner in which each individual chooses to respond.

Harold was out for a walk when he came across an old abandoned well shaft. Peering over the edge, he lost his footing and fell to the bottom of the deep well. Miraculously, Harold was unhurt as he landed in the soft dirt at the bottom.

As Harold sat down to ponder his options, some dirt landed on his head. Ralph, the owner of the farm where the well was located, had meant for years to fill in the old dry well so that it wouldn't be a hazard. Just hours after Harold's mishap, Ralph and several of his farmer neighbors, arrived at the well to finally fill it in.

Harold yelled up to the men. But the well was too deep for them to hear him and it was certainly too dark for them to see him. Furthermore, Ralph and his friends never expected someone to be in the well. Fortunately for Harold, the well was located in a location that was impossible to get a backhoe into. So, the men were filling in the well with hand shovels.

Harold quickly realized the men had no idea he was trapped at the bottom. Harold knew that if he didn't do anything, he would be buried. So, as each shovel of dirt landed on him, he shook it off and packed it underneath his feet. Little by little, Harold was able work his way up the shaft.

Ralph and the men at the top of the well were in shock when Harold eventually climbed out. Although he was completely filthy, Harold was ecstatic that he was free from his awful predicament. Harold contemplated how ironic it was that the same dirt he used for his escape would have been his demise had he not taken any action.

We can learn a number of lessons from Harold's experience. First of all, it is possible you will find yourself in an unexpected situation you didn't plan for and don't like. Once Harold fell into the well, all that mattered to him was how was he going to get out.

How he came to be in his predicament and what he could have done to avoid it were irrelevant so long as he remained trapped. Harold might wish he was not trapped or lament his carelessness in falling down the well. But in order for Harold to survive, all of his mental and physical energy must be devoted to solving his problem.

Harold's circumstances were not going to improve on their own. If he did nothing, his situation would have gotten worse. If Harold were passive, the dirt falling on him would have buried him.

Life can get messy. When dirt starts falling, stand up, shake yourself off, and use it to your advantage. Don't act like a victim. Ralph was not targeting Harold. You have to be self-reliant and help yourself. Assistance from others is not always available.

Don't panic. Your situation may seem dark, but there is a way out. Don't panic, keep your wits. Don't just lie down, you must move up and out.

Whenever you fall into a hole, you can never dig your way out. One way or another, you have to climb out. If you want to improve a bad situation, the only way to go is up. When the dirt starts falling, you have got to get moving in order to avoid being covered over.

Sincerely,

Bryan Golden

NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. Email Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper. © 2024 Bryan Golden

There are two opposing forces within you. One is positive, the other negative. The dominant force is the one that determines the path your life takes. Most people are unaware of this conflict, or worse yet, allow the negative to rule them.

Developing an awareness of your thoughts and emotions is essential to cultivating the positive ones, while allowing the others to wither. Your quality of life is directly related to the outcome of your inner battle.

The negative emotions are anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, superiority, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies and ego. These repel good and attract negative.

Anger clouds your judgement. It impairs your ability to make rational decisions. To minimize, or hopefully eliminate, feelings of anger, remember you can't control the actions of others, but you can control your reaction.

Whenever you want what someone else has, you experience envy and jealousy. You are not in a contest. It doesn't matter what others have. Devote your efforts to pursuing your own goals.

People who constantly feel sorrow or regret are spending too much time in the past. These feelings emanate from events that are over. In order to move forward, decide where you are going from here. If you remain chained to the past, you will sacrifice your future.

Greed is self-absorption. Greedy people are only concerned about their own needs. They are often willing to act in an unscrupulous manner. Greed repels happiness. To get what you want, help others get what they need.

A person who is arrogant believes they are better than others. The attitude of superiority they radiate repels people. You are not better than anyone, and no one is better than you. Treat each person you encounter with respect and dignity.

Victims feel self-pity. You are not a victim; you are in charge of and in control of your life. If you are not happy with your circumstances, change them. Don't blame others or expect someone else to solve your problems.

Guilt can be self-imposed or precipitated by others. Guilt can be related to things you have done or connected to a decision you are about to make. If you make the best decision possible, with all the information you have at the time, you have nothing to feel guilty about. You will never be able to please everyone, so don't try.

Resentment serves no purpose. You may not like what has happened, or the manner in which you have been treated. Being resentful won't make you feel any better. You will only feel bitter. Regardless of whatever has happened, keep focused on what you want to do next. If you want positive results, take positive actions.

Thinking you are not good enough produces feelings of inferiority. You feel others are better or more important. This leads you to sell yourself short, often settling for much less than is warranted. You are a good person. No one is better than you.

A life based on lies has no foundation and will soon crumble. Don't do anything you are ashamed of. There is never a need to lie about who you are or what you do. If you believe there is, you need to make some changes.

Feeding one's ego turns off other people. Don't brag about what you do or what you have. If your motivation is to impress others, you will never be happy, and ironically, no one will be impressed. It really doesn't matter what other people think.

In the next two columns, I will write about the positive emotions of joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.

Sincerely,

Bryan Golden

NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. Email Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper. © 2024 Bryan Golden