Editorials / Opinions

Thanksgiving is much more than a big meal with family and friends. It's a time to reflect on, and be thankful for, all of the good things you have. It's important to be grateful, not just on Thanksgiving, but each and every day. Rather than lamenting what you feel is lacking in your life, begin each new day by developing an attitude of gratitude. Take inventory of your blessings and you will be surprised at just how much you have to be thankful for.

If you have enough to eat, a place to live, a way to get around, people who care about you, or people you care about, then you are wealthy. If you lack any of these elements, you must still be grateful for what you do have, while striving to obtain whatever is absent.

Focus on all positive aspects of your life. Take nothing for granted. Every morning, recharge your appreciation. Be happy for everything there is, not upset over what you feel is missing.

Dreams of the future shouldn't diminish appreciation for the present. If all you do is concentrate on what you want, you won't enjoy today. Don't be jealous of others; what they do or have has no bearing on you.

You can feel bitter or resentful for a variety of reasons. Perhaps you feel something is missing from your life, things aren't going your way, or you have been treated unfairly. You may wonder, "why do these things always happen to me?"

Life's problems tend to dominate your thoughts, turning your focus to what you feel is wrong. You may start to resent those who appear to be better off. You're apt to dwell on things you think would make your life better if you had them. If only you had more money, more time, a bigger house, a different car, a different job, a different boss, had picked a different career, etc.

Once your attitude becomes one of deficiency instead of abundance and appreciation, you can become overwhelmed by feelings of frustration and feel like a victim. As this happens, a consuming vicious cycle starts.

Being bitter or resentful blows situations out of proportion. People who are bitter frequently find that their situations deteriorate and their mental and physical health decays.

It's difficult, if not impossible, to achieve your goals while you are bitter or resentful. Regardless of what challenges might befall you, bitterness makes finding solutions much more elusive.

There is no point to feeling bitter since it accomplishes nothing, harms you and makes things worse. Filling yourself with gratitude on a daily basis makes you feel good, while driving out negative feelings.

Begin your practice of gratitude each morning as soon as you wake. Every day is a great day. If you have any doubts, try missing one. Take inventory of everything, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, that is good in your life.

If it helps, make a written list of all things you are grateful for. Read your list every day. As you do this, you will build and reinforce your attitude of gratitude. Don't waste any time with what you feel you don't have.

Keep things in perspective. Consider all the people who have overcome difficulties far worse than yours. Don't be consumed by your problems, there is always a solution. Maintaining an attitude of gratitude allows your mind to devise a resolution for your circumstances.

Make everyday a day of Thanksgiving and you will be amazed how much better your life will become.

Sincerely,

Bryan Golden

Bryan is the author of "Dare to Live Without Limits." Contact Bryan at Bryan@columnist.com or visit www.DareToLiveWithoutLimits.com Copyright 2025 Bryan Golden

The usual meaning of self-control is being able to limit or resist indulgences. This can apply to overeating, excessive drinking, or anything else that might be considered a vice. Appropriate self-control also determines your level of success. Having self-control requires discipline, desire, and awareness.

You need the discipline to act with intention rather than impulsively. You can only achieve your goals when your life has specific direction. Those who live impetuously lack focus or persistence. They change direction on a whim. Suppose you want to dig a foundation. A prudent way to construct it would be to first mark its size and location.  Then you would consistently dig in the defined area until you reached the desired dimensions.

However, someone who lacked the requisite discipline would dig a shovel full of dirt in one area and then move to another location and dig a little more. They would keep digging in different places. In this scenario, the foundation would never be completed, regardless of how much time was devoted.

As the basis for persistence, desire keeps you going. It enables you to solve problems and get through adversity. Desire provides energy when you are exhausted. If you set out to dig your foundation but don't really care if it is ever completed, the chances are you will never finish. Even when you are digging in the correct location, you will get tired or discouraged.

What happens in the event you encounter a boulder while digging? Without adequate desire, you will give up and move onto some other project. But if you really want to complete your foundation, you will grab a sledgehammer and go to work on the boulder until it cracks.

Awareness allows you to understand what it is you want. Without this awareness, you won't know what to build. Each person has their own unique likes and dislikes. In order for you to pick a meaningful goal, you must first understand yourself.

Self-control helps you avoid distractions that will derail you from achieving your goals. Reaching your destination takes effort and hard work. It is very tempting to want to engage in those activities that are fun or take less effort. This is not to imply that you shouldn't enjoy yourself. The point is to make sure you don't allow your behavior to sabotage your success.

Bob has a great job he really enjoys. His friends like to party on weeknights. Bob works hard and enjoys unwinding by accompanying them. He usually goes out with them once or twice a week. Bob has a lot of fun but doesn't get much sleep on those nights. Although he is never late to work, his productivity suffers.

Bob is jeopardizing his future with his current employer. Without the self-control to avoid staying out too late during the week, Bob runs the risk of missing out on promotions or even losing his job. All it takes is a lack of self-control in just one area to undermine your future.

In terms of self-development, self-control means taking responsibility for your situation. You are in control of your life. There are people who don't believe this to be true. But it doesn't matter. The principle still applies. You can choose not to exercise self-control and live by happenstance. It's your choice.

It's never too late to begin exercising self-control. Even if you have some bad habits or have made some bad decisions, you can begin to get back on track today. Past behavior doesn't have to dictate your future. The sooner you make positive adjustments; the sooner you will begin to enjoy the results.

Sincerely,

Bryan Golden

NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. Email Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper. © 2025 Bryan Golden