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No More Wishy-Washy War
For a few years now, FOX News personalities like Bill O'Reilly and John Gibson have been claiming to be leading the counteroffensive against what they call "The War on Christmas." But what have they done, really? Their efforts have amounted to little more than objecting to phrases like "Happy Holidays" and "Season's Greetings," acting like these are both sinister and new, and harassing retailers who considerately use these inclusive phrases.
Big deal. I say if you're going to fight, get serious about it. Quibbles about phraseology are trifling when what you want to do is completely reform the culture. If anyone is really serious about that, we need to ban all Christmas songs that aren't about the Baby Jesus. Nothing undermines the FOX News concept of Christmas more than these offensive ditties. There are far too many to mention, but following is a brief list of what we need to ban: White Christmas; Jingle Bells; Deck the Halls; The Christmas Song; Walking in a Winter Wonderland; We Wish You a Merry Christmas; Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas; Silver Bells; Frosty the Snowman; Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer; Santa Claus is Coming to Town; I'll Be Home for Christmas; The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.
If you have positive or sentimental feelings about any of these songs, you're part of the problem! You are undermining Christmas, you Liberal wretch! And in addition to discarding all such songs, we must ban all instrumental versions of appropriate Christmas carols. Why? Because it is essential that plug-ola for religion be presented incessantly. Right?
Not as far as I'm concerned. I see Christmas as something that has always been a secular holiday, and as such I like it just fine. It's Bill O'Reilly and other Christian Talibans who are the real Scrooges here. Their kind does not have exclusive title to the holiday, and nor should we let them. Lignite in their stockings, and to the rest of you, Merry Xmas!
Stephen Van Eck
TO THE EDITOR POLICY
Thank you, Susquehanna County Transcript
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